Puke, gag!

As a local reporter, there is nothing more grating than our local government's fascination with larger media. Here in Brighton, city officials quiver when 9News parachutes in from the news chopper or the Denver Post deigns to recognize our community and in Fort Lupton, we bow at the presence of the Holy Tribune. It makes me a little defensive when our city leaders and citizens gush over out-of-town media, it's kind of like your prom date spending the whole evening with another girl. And when they make us look like backwater buffoons, it makes me wonder what all the gushing is about. In a story the other night about Vestas,a 9news reporter, with a backdrop of an equally gushing Jan Pawlowski stomping on an ant hill, referred to Brighton as "the sleepy town that time forgot." Such poetry, such B.S. How long since that has been true, was that ever true? And do we really want it as a moniker? Then the reporter pointed out the site of the new library had been vacant since the old theater burned down 50 years ago. Yeah, except for that lumber yard that we bulldozed.
I guessing having the spotlight of the Denver media, even with erroneous information, is still worth it.

But why

I'm really sick of people criticizing MetroWest as a liberal bastion. I had a woman scold me a couple weeks ago with threats of Brighton Blade owners past for putting an article about Obama in the paper. My answer: If John McCain gets within a 20 mile-radius of Brighton, we'll go visit him too. We had Mary Hodge's opponent blasting her as a "party-line pushover" on the front of the paper a couple weeks ago. Then, I go to Gene Sears' blog and read a comment, "The most biased paper in the world is metrowest. The new owners will clean house."
Put up or shut up time, kids. What makes us so biased.
And if I don't get any comments. I'm assuming it's an unsubstaniated argument.

Powell for Obama

Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama has riled the GOP. But, as a fellow African-American, how damaging do you think it would have it been to Obama's campaign to not get that endorsement?

You're not approved

It's time to get rid of candidates tagging on to the end of their political advertisements "I'm such and such and I approved this message." The point of requiring that was to make candidates more responsible for their words. It has failed. Candidates have found a way around it and now it's just a funny office catchphrase like when I get a soda out of the pop machine and say, "I'm Kevin Denke and I approved this Mountain Dew." I will say my favorite is the Markey/Musgrave mudslinging. Cue Marylin Musgrave tortuing a second grader in a Greeley back alley and then cut to Betsy Markey happily filling out postcards in her office. What is it about Musgrave that brings out the worst in all of us? Are you listening, Angie Paccione?

Dog eat dog

Just a note, we're proud parents of a new baby girl (Oct. 8) Thanks for all your thoughts.

The other night I came back through my front door from taking out the trash to find my dog making wet, sloppy love to my trash can.

So I chucked our small, plastic recycling container a good 15 feet in the vicinity of the dog, not to hurt him but to get him to stop licking the trash can. I got the desired effect and the dog dashed around the dining room table towards the living room. I followed him in hot pursuit so I could put him outside. My dog, knowing this, ducked into his kennel.

Like a police officer demanding for a criminal to drop a weapon, I hollared once for him to exit the cage. When he didn’t, I picked up the cage because I knew he would instinctively jump out.

He then dashed toward his pillow on the opposite side of the room. I dove after him and, when he saw me coming, he performed a quick end around past me and headed back safely to his kennel.

Gathering my thoughts and composure, I closed the kennel door, picked it up with my 30-pound dog inside, and carried it outside.

There was a time when my dog didn’t drive me crazy. It was before I had kids. Until then, I had no idea there was such a thing as progressive knowledge.

My dog’s traits – like wiping his butt on the carpet, eating his own feces and old, snotty tissues – were charming, even morbidly endearing.

But when my daughter came, I realized these things were not common. She never wiped her butt on the carpet and, despite being compelled to stick everything in her mouth, was never particularly drawn to poop and tissues.

And I’ve also noticed my daughter has gotten smarter as time has gone on. She’ll get a finger stuck in the door, it will hurt and she won’t do that again. My dog, on the other hand, will continue to stick his head under a roaring barbecue grill and risk singeing his hair on the back of his head, all for some errant grease drippings.

And, the frustrating thing, is, unlike my daughter (who tried this once and decided she didn’t like the taste and messiness of grease drippings), my dog will continue to do this any chance he gets, no matter how I yell at him.

My dog is as smart as he will get. Perhaps it’s annoying because he remains a few steps ahead of me. I’m sure my neighbors have (more than once) caught the sight of me chasing my dog around the backyard in my boxers. I’m not saying it’s a bad sight. This physique comes from six years of deskwork and a lifetime of pizza eating.

Still, its unnerving when I risk freezing to death to clean up my dog’s poop before he eats it, get back in the warmth of my house and look outside to find him pooping again.

Through our group therapy sessions, I’m learning to let my dog be himself. I’m learning about what makes him tick. It’s been a revelation. I can’t change my dog. So I must change.

And you know what I’ve found.

This rubbing your butt on the carpet isn’t half-bad.

See you soon.

I'm going to be out of the office for the next couple weeks as my wife and I welcome our second child so I won't be blogging everyday. But check back every now and then. In spite of my sleep deprivation, I'll probably find my way on here once or twice.

We keep kicking him and nothing

Even as a Medianite, I'm not afraid to poke fun at our business now and then. There are phrases that occasionally we like to use that on the surface really don't make any sense. I came across one this morning that I've even been guilty of:
DENVER – It appears at least one person is dead.
"He is hanging outside the car window, several people have gone over and shook him – still nothing. Yes, indeed, it would appear he is dead."
Are we reporting news or setting up a scary scene in a horror movies.
"Watch your back, Officer McGrady, he might still be alive."
Dead or not dead, folks. Make a decision.
Or else we could say, "he appears to not be living."