Death to computers

It's double-blog Wednesday, kids. I meant to drop a post yesterday but, ugghh, you won't believe the day I had yesterday. Wait, don't go, I won't whine that much. Long story and a long day short, our computer server crashed. Anybody frustrated you can't get to our Web site, please send those comments to MetroWest Newspapers, 139 N. Main St., Brighton, CO, 80601 c/o Our stupid, dumb, double crossing, broken computer server. For those of you unfamiliar with computers (Hi, Grandma, how's the baby?) the server is our lifeblood, we store everything on it – stories, photos, ads, templates, Social Security numbers, blood types, emergency numbers, snow removal plans ( Hi, Brighton, still got the plan – storm coming) and then, with the confidence a computer will never malfunction, we foolishly believe nothing will ever happen to this server. Well, something did. My suspicion – one of those stray cats behind our building snuck in and was looking at porn or something less insidious. Nevertheless, we were flying blind for most of yesterday and had to lay out the papers using a primitive technique know as human communication. I know, I know, it was awful. But, not to worry, a new server is on the way. This would be my opportunity to climb on a soapbox and rant about our dependence on computers, but my computer might hear me and erase this whole post. Just in case: Repeat with me: "We love computers, what would we do without them?" This statement does not currently reflect the views of Kevin Denke and anyone else at MetroWest Newspapers. Uh-oh, better go, steam coming out of the monitor.

Tell Al Roker, I said Hi

Okay, okay, I really don't want to get mixed up in the Don Imus scandal – he used the N-word (n***y) but I had to crack up when I saw this picture this morning. My first thought – Hey, look Jesse Jackson in the Today Show crowd. Apparently, it was a separate protest but you can see how I was confused!

Give me thine sample, old lady

I've had it, fed up, enough already. I've had an ongoing beef (or lack of beef) with the old hags that divy out the samples at our local wholesale retail stores. This weekend, at a store I will not name but ends with AM'S, I was especially troubled. My wife, I and the girl were closing in on some crackers smeared with Brie when Grandma Goodwrench actually pulled the crackers back from her sample table as if she saw us coming. Ridiculous! C'mon, beside a 900-ton bottle of detergent and a 10-pound plastic container of cheese balls, why do we go to these places? This isn't my first problem. A few weeks ago, I snagged a sample off one of those little metal tables (on loan from the county coroner's office) and had the audacity not to say thank you. As I walked away. I received a sardonic "thank you" from the woman. I wanted to smack her over the head with a box of 600 muffins. Pardon me, aren't we supposed to take the samples or did I just accidentally stumble into your kitchen. This is all complicated by my experience a couple years ago when my Dad and I actually watched a sampler pack up her Peanut Nut Roll in a plastic container ( there was still plenty) and head for the door. Leave the sample on the table lady, we'll take over from here. I don't know where they get these women from – I presume they truck them over from the nursing home. I don't mean to demean old people, I love old people and, someday, hope to be one. But these women are mean, they're grumpy and, unfortunately, they've got the goods.

Let's be reasonable, people

First, this blurb from 9News.com:

DENVER – You don't have to be a great athlete. You don't even have to be a great student. Still, you can get a scholarship to go to college.

"We really want to give everyone an opportunity," said Katie Powell, spokesperson for CollegeInvest.
CollegeInvest is an arm of the Colorado Department of Higher Education. It wants to give away $400,000 to 125 students to help them attend undergraduate courses at a Colorado college.
Does this idea just make you shudder? So, now we're going to let anybody go to college? What's next? Free health care? I know, I know, I had to read it twice. It's disturbing. Who's Utopian ball of cheese idea is this? There's a reason college costs an arm and leg, people. We have to discourage some people from going to college so they can flip our burgers and pick up our trash. If we're going to swing open the doors and let everybody into college then we're just asking for problems. The last thing we need is a society of educated people running around ... being educated. Not to mention our great athletes and great students having to share dorms with also rans. They'll be dragged down. The educated people need somebody to step on. The road to run is paved with good intentions. Good idea but do we really want to open this Pandora's Box?

Drunk drivers: The scourge of our society

This is a reprint of a column I wrote for today's Standard Blade
On the way home from the funeral for Jennifer Kois last week, I stopped by home and hugged my 15-month-old daughter.
It was on the way. Even if it hadn’t been on the way, it would still have been on the way.
That’s how I reconciled the loss I had just seen. By taking a minute to remember what I still had.
I shouldn’t have to worry about these things yet. I should only have to worry about my daughter taking a tumble down the stairs or sticking a curious finger in an electrical outlet.
I’ll tell you first I always get a little heartburn about covering funerals – capitalizing on other’s people’s grief as I often think of it.
“What the hell am I doing here?” is often the question that rattles around in my brain.
There was undoubtedly a little uneasiness last week, but no such question. Somebody had to see what some jerk allegedly took away from this family.
In case you’ve forgotten – that was two beautiful lives cut cruelly short by a drunk driver who had no business being behind the wheel of a vehicle let alone a still active member of our society. I make no pretense of knowing Kois or her boyfriend, Jake Brock, besides the anecdotes I gathered last week. But, I have no hesitation in telling you, they were pretty special kids. They were going to make a difference in this world, they already had.
But, like I said, that was all taken away by a man who socked a sheriff the day after Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’m skewed by an ultra respect for authority (blame my parents) but I seriously don’t think I’d be driving around anytime soon if I decided to fight with the sheriff. But maybe that’s just me.
Innocent until proven guilty – blah, blah, blah – throw the book at him. It’s bad enough that so many of our own kids ruin their lives by making bad decisions. We manage to teach them to do the right thing and then some loser wipes them out.
Enough.
We’ve got too much prison overcrowding to lock up every drunken driver. Our legal system has too much heart to not give a first-time drunken driver a second chance, or a third chance, or a fourth chance.
And time and time again, those extra chances result in death. Then we lock them up.
I was at the sentencing March 22 of the Fort Lupton man who killed 20-year-old Ricky Bird in a drunk driving accident last June in Brighton. His public defender actually argued at one point on behalf of him – pointing out the victim’s car might have had its bright lights on. I don’t envy the tough and often unsavory role of a public defender, but come on.
Let’s get real folks.
These people are out there. They’re preying on us.
And until they kill a couple innocent kids or mow down a family crossing a street, they’re getting a free pass – a slap on the wrist and their driver’s license taken away.
It’s time to cut out the niceties. It’s time to start fighting back.
Enough with civil liberty.
If you’re a drunken driver, the whole neighborhood should be informed when you buy a new house in the neighborhood, similiar to what we currently do with sex offenders. It should be painted all over your car so everyone driving around you knows and can act accordingly. Drunk drivers should be microchipped so when they enter a bar, liquor store or any other liquor-serving establishment, they can quickly be turned away.
I’m not talking about Prohibition here. I’m talking about taking the people off the street who have so little regard for the rest of humanity that they would willingly get behind the wheel of a car and risk injuring and killing other people.
I was so struck by the words of Jennifer Kois’ stepfather last week as he vowed, “I will stand up for you and make sure nobody will do this again.”
I know better than to question the passion of a father. I just hope he hurries.
I’ve got a little girl at home I’m already worried about.

Video game nation

I have to snicker at the "experts" who say video game playing is making our kids violent. Is there some merit to their concerns. Possibly. Are our children becoming Little Goombas who attack innocent Italian brothers who happen to be plumbers (hi Super Mario Bros. fans)? I'm not so sure. I think the impacts of constant video-game playing can be more subtle. Take me, for example, I'm a recovering video-game addict. How did I quit? I credit my wife's 12-step rehab program that includes a strict regimen of taking out the trash, watching the baby, mowing the lawn and other domestic duties. She should write a book – I'm almost cured.
When I was growing up, I was completely engrossed in video games. In fact, while my dad was building new rooms in our house, fixing everything that broke and other manly duties, I was playing video games. I thought that ability to fix anything would translate by osmosis. The only thing I got was the myriad of homeowner issues that I must grapple with on a daily basis. So, now I'm virtually incompetent. I break more things than I can fix, I just can't figure out when I'll be able to wave my magic Legends of Zelda sword to make the sprinkler system work. Now. I'm backtracking, trying to learn everything I already should know. The results are messy at best. So, as a recovering video-game junkie (thanks honey, yes I'll take out the trash in a second) I implore parents to pull your kids away from the X-Box. They'll hate you for it now but they'll appreciate it later. And for adult addicts, I think my wife will be holding a summer seminar – I'll keep you posted. Main task? Probably fixing the sprinkler system.

Mayday, mayday

This just in ... I just read online that Amelia Earhart, 70 years later, is still missing. No, no, not the Denver radio traffic reporter – the actual Amelia Earhart. Why, after this long, does this story still captivate us? The mystery of it of course. Still, after all this time, I don't think anyone can actually believe this woman got lost. I think everyone believes she is still on some island drinking Mai-Tais.