Scientists amaze me.
They get excited about the most trivial things. Just like me. That’s why I like them.
So you can imagine how pumped scientists were recently when they found out some newer galaxies in the solar system are actually just as heavy as older galaxies.
Confused?
Me too. Totally lost. That’s why you have a writer from sciencenews.org to explain it. He likened it to picking up a tiny baby and finding that he’s as heavy as a full-grown adult.
This is also how my wife would explain arguing with me.
Still totally not blown away?
How about we let one of the experts break it down for you? This scientist has three names and his first name is spelled weird too, so that’s instant credibility. Take it away, Sir Pieter van Dokkum of a certain Yale University.
“We expected that these galaxies would be more or less the same size as those in today’s universe,” he says. “But instead of being precocious in both size and weight, it turns out that some are tiny.”
I know I should just stop right there. But I can’t.
We must continue.
Van Dokkun says this creates a mystery. He explains that most young galaxies are both small and lightweight. Van Dokkum thought, according to the article, that the few youngsters his team had found that were heavy – bodies that despite their youth had quickly matured, produced a huge number of stars and then stopped – would also be large.
I think this has something to do with why the “American Idol” ratings are slipping, too. I could also be recalling some long-forgotten middle school lesson on puberty.
But do you realize how big this is? Me neither. Count van Dokkum, if you would?
“Galaxies can’t get bigger by themselves,” he explained, “They must undergo a string of collisions with other galaxies to puff up their size, growing as big as large, elliptical galaxies seen in the cosmos today.”
I’m pretty sure this means the Milky Way is on ’roids. However, I’ll wait for the results of a congressional investigation, which I’m guessing will include some stars “misremembering” getting injections near their black holes, much like Roger Clemens did.
Yet, let me attempt to breakdown the sheer enormity of this discovery for the non-scientific community. This is for scientists like finding out Capt. Picard was Capt. Kirk’s dad or that Mulder and Scully had a secret love child. And, no, I have no regrets about my blatant generalization of scientists as sci-fi geeks. Write me a letter when you get done watching “Battlestar Galatica.”
The only thing better about scientists is after all that unfettered excitement, pocket protector bursting joy, telescope-induced euphoria, they admit it could all be nothing.
“Either way, this is a potentially very important development,” the count said.
Potentially? Wait, that’s it? Now you’re not really sure at all?
Oh you scientists, you simply toy with my emotions. And you keep me coming back for more.
