This isn't Baywatch kids

I've always had a problem with swimming pool lifeguards or as I like to think of them, over-zealous snots out to ruin any perceived good time. So, I wasn't surprised when I was able to weave another lifeguard tale into my tapestry of annoyance last week. We took our daughter swimming at a rec center pool I won't name (Margaret W. Carpenter Recreation Center, 11151 Colorado Boulevard Thornton, CO 80233) and I was preparing to take my daughter up the slide to go down with me (something I've done numerous times at the Brighton pool without some pimple-faced brat lifeguard blowing their top. But, as I reached the top of the slide, I was ordered down. I could not take my daughter on the slide because she wasn't eight. That was the official reason – the real reason was I was the victim of the power trip of a 16-year-old (mad at his Dad for not letting him borrow the car). I never seen a pool lifeguard actually save someone – I've read about it but do you believe everything you read in the papers? I have, however, seen more than a few lifeguards in my day quash games of Marco Polo, successfully limit running near the pool and any other "horseplay." The funny part? As you might know, we recently returned from Hawaii and I have to say I felt more at ease with my daughter in the ocean than I did at that rec center pool with an army of pubescent punks enforcing heinous rules. I guess I feel insulted because I'm going to look out for my daughter more than anyone especially when it comes to water. I was amused when I was leaving the pool to see they would be conducting periodic alert drills where they placed a mannequin in the pool and tested lifeguard response times. I'm guessing that mannequin got wrinkles waiting for somebody to come get him, but I bet he didn't make it down the slide.