I'm sure many of you sports fan are eagerly awaiting the release of the George Mitchell (pictured right) report today. I'll end the suspense, it will find, among other things, that Mitchell's son, Dennis, is a menace and caused an exorbitant amount of trouble for their next door neighbor, the elderly Mr. Wilson. The report will also find that Dennis had a disturbing and ceaseless lack of interest in girls – repeatedly rejecting the overtures of one Margaret Wade.
Note: In the accuracy of history, I must disclose the name of the character was actually Henry Mitchell, not George, thus invalidating this whole post. But, having found a way to equate Dennis the Menace with not only the steroids investigation but a possible alternative lifestyle, I don't have the heart to remove the post.
