There have been plenty of cutbacks as commercial airlines struggle to stay aloft.
The latest casualty?
Clothes.
An eastern German travel agency, OssiUrlaub.de (I know, it makes me want a beer, too) is taking bookings for a trial nudist day trip this July from the town of Erfurt to a Baltic Sea resort.
The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking, travel agency director, Enrico Hess, told the Reuters News Agency.
“I wish I could say we thought of it ourselves but the idea came from a customer,” Hess said. “It’s an unusual gap in the market.”
Where do I start?
The natural place would be with half a dozen different jokes about possible seat belt mishaps.
But I’m going to be a grownup and avoid all the easy jokes for at least three or four paragraphs.
I admit nudity in the United States still makes us uncomfortable.
But, particularly in Germany, the idea of naturism, or “free body culture” has burst out into the open like a trench coat convention after the groups’ suppression during the World War II era.
There are nudie restaurants, shops and hotels for these folks.
“It’s nothing unusual,” Hess said.
Maybe it’s our society’s compunction to equate nudity with sexual interaction that makes taking it all off in public taboo.
“I don’t want people to get the wrong idea. It’s not that we’re starting a swinger’s club in mid-air or something like that,” Hess added. “We’re a perfectly normal holiday company.”
I believe him. It still probably wouldn’t hurt the flight attendants to re-emphasize proper crash positions.
As if that isn’t enough, Hess defends the pricey ride of 499 euros, ($735), saying it’s not due to the uniqueness of the ride but the smallness of the plane – proving, once and for all, that size really does matter.
And, while we’re at it, does anyone know how many nude people you can cram into a Cessna?
Granted, the people who embark on this maiden voyage have agreed to take part and shed their clothes. But I still can’t get past the normal aspects of flying that would be magnified.
Isn’t the small talk of airplanes with complete strangers uncomfortable enough without having to explain an unusually placed birthmark?
What about when the window seat passenger has to climb over you to use the restroom?
If you fall asleep, does the flight attendant still bring you a blanket or do they steal your socks?
All I know is it would be the dead-ahead urinal stare for me when the pilot encouraged me to glance out the window (presumably at some pristine butte).
So, despite my inability to understand the intricacies of European culture, I wish this group a happy flight.
Don’t forget to pick up your luggage.
