• I don’t mind the occasional Christmas jingle but is holiday music any more annoying than when you’re stuck in traffic?
• I was compelled last week to find that man heading to Philadelphia and cram his homemade pumpkin pie down his throat.
• I won’t mention in the Christmas letter that I got Tasered at Chuck E. Cheese for stealing a child’s tokens.
•We had my oldest daughter’s birthday party Saturday.
• Great time but, from now on, I think I’m going to charge a battery admission
• Bring two Double A batteries or stand outside.
• I’m pretty sure we now have stock in Duracell.
• There also won’t be any mention in the Christmas letter of me falling off the neighbor’s roof trying to steal Christmas lights.
• Hey, the economy’s tough. What’s a guy to do?
• Don’t like artic cold front as a descriptor for our recent weather?
• Try brutally cold.
• When I was shoveling Sunday morning, a cloud punched me in the face and took my wallet.
• A new study says we shouldn’t be so hard on sleepy teenagers. Instead, blame it on the early school start time and their circadian rhythms.
• Or the fact that they’re up till 3 a.m. posting web photos of themselves cavorting in a Kentucky Fried Chicken dish sink.
• You think I’m kidding.
• Google it.
• I also will exclude from my Christmas letter that my boss recognized me for superior procrastination.
• No, wait.
• After that brutal cold front roughed me up Sunday, I was thinking about other ways to stop global warming.
• Wear more parkas.
Have a good week. Enjoy the holiday music.
