Hey, everybody, have you ever gotten the chance to be lured into one of these prescription drug commercials on TV. I wandered upon a two-minute medicinal tantrum this morning for such a drug. Because of ethical standards, I won't name the drug, we'll use a made-up Larovacacheex. What is it supposed to help? Honestly, I couldn't tell ya. I'm still wrapped up in the possible side effects. Yes, taking Larovacacheex could help you with the painful inflammation and swelling of osteoarthritis (thanks, Google) but be prepared for (in no particular order) collapsing of the lungs, profuse vomiting, profuse bleeding, profuse profuseness, diarhea, explosive diarhea, spontaneous liver explosion, hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, tooth decay, homicidal tendencies, decreased sexual appetitite, sauerkraut cravings, inflammagationousesnesses (you don't wanna know), yodeling, arm amputation, melting of the pupils, brain contusions, dizziness, increased love of "Sound of Music" (Steve, are you on this?), hangnails, heart palpitations, decapitations, propensity for licking the feet of others, anal desegregation, ear lobe deformities and, last but not least, a bad case of the giggles.Wow, that bum knee is feeling better all ready. Then, they have the nerve to tell, you
"if you think Larovacacheex could be right for you, check with your physician today." If my doctor thinks this wonder drug is right for me, then I'm getting a new doctor.
Then, as if that isn't bad enough, they throw on some supposed uplifting slogan at the end like: Larovacacheex: because it's time to get off the crapper or Larovacacheex: because who needs use of their right leg anyway.
I'm going to have to be in pretty bad shape before I turn myself over to one of these drugs!
