And, just in case, you didn't think the world was coming to an end, there is now word that the price of cereal is going up. Gas, milk, cereal – the holy trinity of human existence. As I spoke to my Dad over the weekend, we both agreed that making cereal more expensive is quite a feat since the price of cereal is already quite a boondoggle. You might attach the rising cereal cost to increasing milk prices – a little conspiracy theory there for my loyal conspiracy visitor. But the truth is, we are ponying up to support the lucrative retirement packages of some of cereal's most famous stars. Yep, that's right, Lucky (above) Tony the Tiger, those three Rice Krispie weirdos and Trix the Rabbitt have all called it quits and now we're supporting these clowns. I know they all brought us joy over the years but, now they're gone, and we're suffering from their absence and in the pocketbook too. But don't put on the pity party for us. Life is hard for former cereal spokespeople. T the Tiger was repeatedly rejected for American Furniture Warehouse spots, Count Chocula is serving a prison term for a nasty incident on the Sesame Street set where he tried to strangle the Count and hit Maria with a baseball bat, and things aren't so silly for Trix the Rabbit who has been in and out of rehab trying to kick a meth addicition. The kids should have just let him have the cereal. So, befor
e you complain about cereal prices next time, remember you're not the only one hurting here. R.I.P Cap'n Crunch – killed when his dingy was sunk by a cow who landed in his boat after a vicious tornado – oh the bitter irony. That is him, above, shortly before the accident – time was not kind.
