Yea, nothing makes me happier than a celebrity (especially a tree-hugging environmentalist celebrity) being exposed for the trash littering, tree chopping hypocrites they are. So imagine my glee this morning to find the state of Hawaii is considering fines for noted environmentalist and Compost Queen (throw a pickle on her boy, she’s a done) Bette Midler.
She cut down more than 230 trees around the property she owns on the island of Kauai without a permit. I’m sorry she didn’t chop down the trees, someone did that for her. She just sat inside hemming a hemp sweater. The Board of Land and Natural Resources is recommending $6,500 in fines for Ms. Midler. Chump change, no doubt.
The trees were chopped down to, wait-for-it, make a graded road. According to her attorney, Something-something Graham, she didn’t know she needed a permit. That’s so like an environmentalist to not check before they just go all George Washington on a forest. It’s like a vegetarian getting halfway through a burger and saying, ‘Hey, this tastes like meat.”
"The whole idea with cutting the trees down was with the idea of improving the lot with native species" instead of the nonnative, invasive species that had grown there, Graham said.
Even more sad, Midler isn’t a nonnative, invasive species, like so many celebs who take over beachfront properties, Vail and Telluride, she actually grew up in Hawaii.
I’m guessing this is the fault of all of us non-celebrity peons polluting the environment with aerosol cans and clouding Ms. Midler’s brain. I can imagine her frolicking on her treeless property right now, with a bottle of pesticide, singing, “You made me chop down trees, I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t want to do it.”
